I woke up this morning totally freaked out. Not because something bad had happened. Quite the contrary. But I awoke to my fear: fear of being seen, fear of being judged, fear of being a failure. Lynne Twist talked about this in her book, The Soul of Money” - “Before we even sit up in bed, before our feet touch the floor, we are already inadequate, already behind, already losing, already lacking something.” Yup. That about sums it up.
And I’m realizing now how much easier it is to stay where you are. To remain in the safe spaces that protect us from exposure. I want to crawl back into my box and stay put, the same way I want to crawl under the covers right now and go back to bed.
But I have made a conscious commitment to disengage from the part of me that is waiting to be perfect before showing up and just leap. I have learned first hand that the “should” path keeps us on the sidelines and if I want to be a part of making change I need to be on the frontlines. There. I said it. I want to ENGAGE. And if yoga has taught me anything, it’s that when you say “yes” to engagement, you say yes to the whole experience: excitement, fear, joy, disappointment, surprise, etc.
My favorite definition of disrupt is to “throw into confusion or disorder”. This is torture for a perfectionist. But often, it is the very thing that shakes things up enough to enable a shift. And we all need a shift. Not a gentle shift. But a radical shift. So here goes nothing.
In DO/DISRUPT, Mark Shayler (dear friend, coach and aspiring yogi) says “there is only one thing left. GO AND DO. And may the force be with you.”
Here I am. GOING AND DOING.
ON THE MAT
What is the pose that scares you? The one that when the teacher announces it in class, you decide it’s time to go to the bathroom. Yes, that one. Perhaps you look around the room and admire the other people who are doing that pose. You say with resignation “Oh I can’t do that” and you believe it.
Go and do THAT pose. Because not doing it is never knowing. Never knowing how it feels. Never knowing what is possible. You becomes a spectator of your own practice and you miss out. Because no one ever regrets doing something, they regret never trying it. So in the safe haven that is your yoga practice, GO and DO the thing that scares you and celebrate what it is to be alive.
OFF THE MAT
Let your mantra today be “If you always do what you’ve already done, you’ll always get what you’ve always got” (Amen, Henry Ford). Do something different. Notice the habitual ways you play it safe and chart a new course. It might be as simple as taking a different route to work or disrupting your day to meditate or confronting that person you have been avoiding or (dare I say it) doing something you LOVE.
DO Disrupt and BE a catalyst of your own greatness.
[ PS Welcome to our new home ]